Goofy G. Goof is a publicly cherished individual who has brought love and joy to millions around the world. His tenure withhas propelled him into the spotlight, his face adorns the walls of hundreds of children’s bedrooms, and his voice vertebrates in the minds of thousands.
However, after extensive research and interviews with friends and family members, our organisation can exclusively reveal that most of this was in spite of a tragedy. Goofy Goof in fact lived a life of betrayal and abandonment, which in turn forced him into situations that may surprise our average reader.
Born inin early November 1892, Goofy was birthed into this world during the height of mania with the release of the best selling book, ”The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes” by Sir .
He was born to loving parents Amos Goof (Father) and Delia Dawg (Mother). Tragically though, Delia died a few days later due to complications from the birth, and Amos was left alone to raise his son.
At the time Amos was a missionary, and in the past had spent extensive periods in Africa spreading the word of. A few months after the death of his wife, Amos felt it would be best to dedicate more of his life to God. Thus, two-month-old Goofy and Amos moved to North Africa in January 1893.
Amos had spent several years of his youth preaching against the use of slaves in Europe; and since the nation ofhad been created for freed American slaves, Amos felt he had an almost religious calling to the nation.
Goofy would spend the next few years of his life being brought up by members of the Jq’pido tribe. However, events were soon to turn to the dark side and Goofy’s future would be changed forever.
In the United States slavery had been abolished in 1865. But there were those in the former slave-owning community that were secretly smuggling slaves into the Americas. Their hate fueled their determination that those former slaves that had moved to Liberia should be recaptured.
Unfortunately historical information is very sketchy, but there are certain aspects that we can be sure about. One summer morning in 1898, Amos left Goofy in the care of the Jq’pido and went to preach in nearby towns.
He returned in the late afternoon to find the village destroyed and members of the tribe murdered. According to his diaries, Amos desperately searched the area, but could not find his son.
It was a dark time for Amos and clear records of events during this period are difficult to come by. Some believe that Amos journeyed across the world to try and find his son. His diaries do corroborate that he left Liberia to search for Goofy, but unfortunately his diary entries stop in 1900. It seems that Amos was doomed to live the rest of his life in darkness, and he died never having the chance to see his son again.
Now captured by slave-owners, Goofy was looked after on the journey to the Americas by Jahia Okorie, a member of the Jq’pido tribe. Jahia would go on to play her own role in Hollywood; most famously as Mammy Two Shoes in a variety of Tom and Jerry cartoons during the 1950s.
On arrival in America, a young man called W.E.B. Du Bois saw her and Goofy being held for sale in a secret market. As a life long fighter for equality, he immediately called the police and had the leaders arrested.
In a strange country with nowhere to go, Jahia was worried and frightened. Taking pity on her, Du Bois invited her to live with him and his wife in Atlanta as a temporary house guest. Having nowhere to go she accepted, but insisted that Goofy should remain with them.
The next decade of Goofy’s life was far happier. Du Bois was more than happy to help towards the cost of raising/teaching Goofy and treated him as if he was one of his own. While at first Goofy did enjoy going to school, the way he was treated would eventually lead him to have cold feelings towards the education system.
As the school years went by, Goofy’s academic ability was derided by his teachers and he struggled to stay focused in lessons. Add to this the consistent bullying he received from his fellow school mates, and it’s safe to say that school was not a pleasant time for Goofy.
However Goofy’s skills in sports and athletics were almost second to none. Not only did he make the local baseball team (which for a person of his race was quite an achievement.); but he also was an excellent runner and represented the city of Atlanta in a state-wide race.
In around 1910 he was noticed by visiting members of the Olympic committee. Goofy was then asked to represent his country at the future 1912Games. Only 18 years old and seeing this as the greatest chance he’d ever get, Goofy excitedly agreed. He then spend the next two years training with some of the best athletes in America.
In the summer of 1912, Goofy waved goodbye to his adoptive mother and set off with his head held high forSweden. Though he tried hard, Goofy unfortunately lost the Olympic marathon. Disappointed and feeling like he had let down his family and his country, Goofy withdrew from socialising with his colleagues and spent much of his time alone.
However, about a week later a fellow US athlete was taken ill; and in order to save face Goofy was asked to take his place. By sheer luck more than skill; Goofy won the Olympic Gold medal for the sport of ”Javlin Rodeo.”
Happy he had won, Goofy returned to the United States a hero. But there were those that felt that it was disgusting a ”dog” had won a medal for the USA. Soon after rumours of drug abuse started to spread and, unable to defend himself, Goofy was stripped of his medal and left in disgrace.
Upset and full of hatred, Goofy returned home to Atlanta. Now shunned by his whole town rather than just his school friends; Goofy was unable to find a job. He thus moved to New York and spent the next two years helping W.E.B. Du Bois with his monthlymagazine; The Crisis.
During his research, Goofy discovered that under the government of; , , Dogs, Ducks and other such ”undesirable minorities” had been heavily restricted from federal jobs. This included the inability for such minorities to become Officers in the .
With the information dug up by Goofy, Du Bois wrote an editorial in 1914 deploring the powerlessness of minorities in attaining high federal posts. Unable to continue fighting inequality for military minorities from the outside; Du Bois asked Goofy to join the armed forces. Though reluctant at first, his desire for racial freedom won over and Goofy signed up for the US Army.
Over the next 3 years, Goofy worked hard in the military, learning a variety of skills such as marksmanship and bomb defusal.
When the United States entered World War I in 1917, Goofy was assigned to serve under Captain Quackmore Duck (Hero of the Donald Fauntleroy Duck.)and father of the famed actor
Goofy was greatly influenced by Quackmore; as he was the only member of the US military that was an Officer and yet also from the Duck minority. But this influence was not just one way as Quackmore also quickly came to trust Goofy.
In 1918, while they were travelling over Eastern France, their plane was shot down by German forces. It took them almost two weeks of avoiding enemy patrols in order to get back to the Allied side.
These two weeks are said to have been very influential for Goofy as, according to his fellow soldiers, Quackmore and him spent many an hour discussing each other’s ideologies.
Quackmore subscribed to a belief in violent direct action and felt that was the only way white America would start treating them as equals. Young and naive; Goofy soon agreed heartily with Quackmore’s ideals of direct action, but was still on the fence with the idea of using violence.
WWI ended a few months later and gradually members of the armed forces were discharged. Quackmore decided to travel back home to his wife and start a family. Now no longer a combat solider, Goofy came up with the idea of addressing race relations through media and p.
But the military would never allow such a thing. So when speaking to the army bigwigs, Goofy made it quite clear that the new department was intended to improve army relations with the general public, especially the young. It’s not known if anyone else knew of Goofy’s desire to secretly use the department to improve the position of minorities in the military. But if they did, Goofy was never called out on it.
Finally after months of discussion, Goofy was given the go ahead and, at the age of 27 in 1919, he established the Department of Ideological Solutions and the National Equality of Youths (D.I.S.N.E.Y.)
For the next 15 years, Goofy worked hard on a variety of army recruitment
programs and educating the American public. Below is an example of Goofy doing an educational short on how to swim.
During this time Goofy worked with a variety of famous actors such as, and the up and coming Dougles Atti Bourgera.
As their workload increased, D.I.S.N.E.Y started to recruit more and more actors for their propaganda, with one such person being Minnie Mouse. Through her Goofy would eventually meet the girl that would become his wife.
Though very shy, Penny seemed to open up whenever Goofy was around. Over time they found they had many activities in common and slowly grew to love each other. Goofy finally proposed to her during a starry night overlooking the Hollywood sign in 1940. Though they planned to marry the following year, fate was to throw a spanner into their plans.
With the attack on Pearl Harbourin 1941, the United States was thrown into war and D.I.S.N.E.Y’s workload shot through the roof. Hundreds of propaganda pieces were produced such as the one below:
Contact between Penny and Goofy was minimal during the war, but Goofy made sure that Penny never felt alone through his (now famous) l. The following phrase, made famous by Sylvester Stallone, was actually taken from one of Goofy’s letters.
“Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can depend so much on certain people, you can set your watch by them. And that’s love, even if it doesn’t seem very exciting.”
Goofy Goof – June 1944
With the Allied victory in 1945, Goofy was hoping to spend more time with Penny and maybe start a family, but unfortunately the requirements of D.I.S.N.E.Y kept him busy.
The racial relationship between soldiers, though still strained, had definitely improved since the outbreak of hostilities. By 1948 Goofy finally had his victory as Presidentsigned Executive order 9981, which desegregated all aspects of the American military.
As the years went by Goofy was required less and less by D.I.S.N.E.Y as more and more minorities were accepted into the military. Finally, after being engaged for over a decade, in 1951 Goofy was given leave to marry the love of his life. The lavish event took place in Florida with dozens of friends and family members attending.
The next decade of Goofy’s life was fairly quiet and a truly happy time for the married couple. Weekdays would be spent working at D.I.S.N.E.Y, but weekends would be spent with his beautiful wife and helping her with her cupcake store.
By 1960had been elected President and Goofy had become the captain of an elite black-ops unit known as M.o.M (Mavericks of Mayham). It was a 50 man strong group that mainly consisted of minorities and were some of the best trained members of the armed forces.
During this period, tensions between Communist Cuba and the United States had increased significantly. Disapproving of‘s rule over Cuba, Kennedy ordered its invasion by approx 1,500 American trained rebels (known as Brigade 2506). Leading the group would be Goofy and his M.o.M. This event would be known to future generations as the Bay of Pigs invasion.
What followed was what many of the survivors considered ”72 hours of hell and death.” Though the 1,500 strong rebels went in on the offensive, the United States refused to send air support and the rebels were soon beaten back. One by one Goofy watched each one of his men fall to a hail of bullets.
By the end of the third day only two members of M.o.M had survived: Goofy and Percy (Pete). This point is believed by many historians to be a turning point in Goofy’s life, and most likely the beginnings of his hatred for the American Government.
President Kennedy negotiated the release of the last few survivors and Goofy returned to the U.S, his soul destroyed, but his reputation intact. Goofy spent the next two years publicly speaking out against President Kennedy; even going as far as to say:
”Though I am not a communist, I believe even those Godless men would treat those who sacrifice their lives for their country with more respect.”
By 1963 Goofy had a regular column in thethat he used to heavily critisise the Kennedy administration. Though the facts are murky, what can be said for certain is that Goofy was present in Dallas on November 22nd 1963, and at approx 12:30pm John F Kennedy was assassinated.
Readers might consider that a bit of a coincidence, but what can also be certain is that Dealey Plaza (where the president was shot) was shut down completely. Nobody could get in or out. And yet late that night the following image was picked up by a security camera facing the grassy knoll.
However the security footage would not be checked for another week; and by then Goofy had left Dallas to return to his wife in New York. Within a few days he was arrested and questioned.
Goofy vigorously defended his innocence to anyone that would listen. With public outrage growing at the incarceration of an American hero and (possibly) feeling that Lee Harvey Oswald would be an easier target; the Government let him go. Life, however, was not going to get better.
As America entered the tumultuous period of the 1970s, Goofy and Penny decided to start trying to have a baby. But it wasn’t without difficulty as accusations of communist leanings meant that Goofy found it difficult to gain employment in a civilian job; and was barely hanging onto his job at D.I.S.N.E.Y.
Finally by the summer of 1976, Penny had fallen pregnant and by Spring 1977, little Maximus Goof was born. Hope had risen again in Goofy’s life, and yet it was going to escape his grasp in just a few months.
In the winter of 1977, Penny Goof was involved in a car crash with a drunken driver.
Desperate and afraid Goofy rushed to her bedside….
…and was too late. She had closed her eyes for the final time just a few minutes before he arrived. According to doctors he merely sat there. He sat there in silence, holding her hand till night had fallen.
Goofy returned home and fell into a deep depression. But through his best friends, Mickey and Pete, he realised that it was now his duty to look after his son. And so for the next 17 years till 1994, he stayed out of the public eye and politics to properly raise the last connection he had to his dearest Penny.
In 1994, with his now 17 year old son, Goofy wrote a touching script following a father and son’s journey about acceptance, understanding and love. The script was eventually produced as A Goofy Movie (released in 1995)
Earning over $35 million worldwide, A Goofy Movie became the 51st highest grossing film of 1995 and shot Goofy back into the limelight.
Having reached his twilight years though, Goofy continued to do only a few short movies a year. All of them were released to critical acclaim and were very popular with the public.
Though Goofy isn’t as young as he used to be and some controversy does still surround him, his dedication to his country is unquestionable and the love he has for his wife and son is commendable.
But most importantly, unlike some of his fellow D.I.S.N.E.Y collegues, such as Mickey or Donald, Goofy always had time for his fans. He is always there with a smile on his face and gives his time away freely for even the youngest fan. Here’s hoping that such a great dog will never be forgetten.
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